Early man knew style. He was covered in beards. Many, many beards. Nights were never cold or lonely. The ladies loved that long, glossy pelt. Until that jerk off a few caves down starting desecrating his follicles with flint. Thus, the term “manscaping” was born and eons of facial hair fell prey to pretty boys with crude tools. Not anymore. That was eons ago. Honest Abe was the first prez with a face pelt. Darwin. Hemingway. Santa Claus. Billy Gibbons and Dusty Hill. Bearded dudes changed history; calmed our seas, brought us presents, and Texas blues. Bearded dudes made it happen.